me at 68

nun_sense

Musings

Journal of An Evolving Monastic


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Old Woman Screaming
nun_sense

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!

Dear Ones,

I find myself mostly disappointed when I visit my LJ page.  Sometimes I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment just by going onto it.  Yikes!!

Part of me is so tempted to just throw up my hands and say "Fuck it.  I'm just going to make a clean break."

But there is still that  part me that holds out hope.

Most of the time, I don't even want to write on LJ anymore.......SO.....I'm not even going to try to come on here once or twice a week to "catch up" with good friends.  They have either already left LJ permanently or, like me.......hang on with a lot fewer entries.....and those are a whole lot less personal as well.....which makes for some very sad feelings when I read them.........SO.......I'll  not just drop off completely, nor will I make grand efforts to get on here often.  I'm just going to hang out on the sidelines and see what happens.

How sad.............how very sad.  I have lost an online community that was once so very dear to me.  But......life happens...er?

An Evolving Interspiritual Solitary

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It is very sad when we lose something like LJ that has meant so much and been such a place of connection. I've tried to keep up some here, and I still check my friendslist feed about once a day to see what's up with those who still use it, but it's growing much harder to make proper posts, even book reviews or discussions about what I'm thinking regarding my faith and my writing, etc. There are just fewer people here to read and I've transferred a lot of my RL community to Facebook or back to e-mail as I used to do before LJ, or to phone calls (at least for friends/family in the same country).

I'm past some of the grief now, but it's still hard to watch. Harder to see someone like you feeling so much pain. *hugs*

I have been really missing my own ability to share freely on this platform, throughout the last couple of weeks... I mean the way I did years ago, before you and I "met." There are so many factors at work in this, for me - sharing the minutiae of life with teenage children is much more complicated, ethically, than sharing about babiesand toddlers. That's a big thing. I'm also out in the world at places it would be unethical (due to confidentiality laws) to talk about, and where internet trolls could potentially make a stink for/about me. I also have more experience with trolls, now, than I did at my most prolific, and can't help but "hear" myself through their ears... all in all I miss the forthright way I could vent everything daily as a young, naive, stay at home mom of little children, but I don't think I can put the genie back in that bottle.

Are you at all active on any other platforms? I don't think tumblr or facebook are the same, but I do get something out of each.

I understand too. I think that is what sparks my absences initially - when I put aside the time to really write a post that I put a lot into and then I am all excited and keep coming to check if there are any comments, and so few come through. It makes me less inclined to go to the trouble of writing for a while... Seems so pointless sometimes.

So I think I understand.

If not here, then were could we go? I don't know that other blog communities are much better off - ello, or blogger or wordpress.... I have blogs in all these places but don't use any overly much... Certainly not more than LJ.

I may be sporadic at times, but I am staying... But if you find somewhere better, I will be happy to spread the there as well.
The internet was much more alive before facebook - now so much feels abandoned. Ahh, the days of email lists and forums. <3

Just casting about the internet... I think even the little that is left here is still really special.

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